- My normally happy content baby has been fussy and cranky the past two days. Yesterday he had to be held All.Day.Long and needed to eat like every 2 hours. He wouldn't even sleep last night unless he was on my chest. Which means I basically got no sleep. So today I am one exhausted momma. I'm pretty sure he's going through a growth spurt.
- Did I mention that I can't drink caffine because it upsets the baby way too much?? Yup so there is nothing I can do to pull myself out of my fog. So I keep on drinking my decaf and pretending.
- I really, really want to do some major shopping but I can't fit back into my pre-pregnancy size yet and I don't really want to buy a bigger size. This is totally a personal vanity problem that I need to get over.
- I can't fit back into my size yet because I can't stop eating like I'm still pregnant and I haven't started exercising yet even though I got cleared to start 5 weeks ago. Blah. It all sounds like too much work.
- I'm sort of back to work and helping out another agent in my office who is going out of town and it's exhausting and frustrating. I won't go into details but this person was supposed to be helping me during my maternity leave and sort of dropped the ball on me and my clients soooo it makes me bitter that I have to help this person back now. I'm going to do it though because I'm a good person and a deal is a deal.
- My dog chewed and broke my Ray-Ban Wayfayers this week. I didn't even have the energy to get mad at her because it's my fault that I left them in a very easy spot for her to get. The upside is now I have an excuse to get new sunglasses!
- In two weeks I have to go to my husband's boss' birthday party. It's a costume party with no theme. WTF. I have no idea what I could possibly pull off with my mushy flabby post baby body. I'm thinking I need to go as a tent or a ghost or something that hids everything. The depressing part is there will be 50yr old women there with incredible bodies that will just make me cry.
- Mom guilt is much worse than Catholic guilt. I now understand so many stories and things I've heard from moms about why they do what they do.
- I hate that I'm feeling cranky and complaining when I have so much to be thankful for. I know this and I am so grateful for everything in my life but sometimes it just helps to vent.
- K and I still haven't been on a date night since Miller was born 11 weeks ago- we've taken him out a lot but we haven't had a night just the two of us. I think we need to schedule one soon. Other moms- when was your first date night sans baby?
If you made it this far thanks for listening to me vent...
Nat, all your feelings are normal and you are not alone! My youngest went through that exact stage of only sleeping while held and it was miserable but then suddenly it was over! As for the weight - don't be too hard on yourself! It will come off! Things shift around so even when you do fit into your clothes again, they may fit differently. You're doing great and have a happy, adorable baby to show for it!!
ReplyDeleteHang in there girl! It's completely normal and we all go through it. It's just basically your new norm as a mom and it takes a long time to adjust and accept the changes! Don't beat yourself up about the weight. It takes as longer or longer to get it off as it does to put it on. Don't let anyone tell you differently. Drink your wine girl, it takes the edge off! ;)
ReplyDeleteOh lady, don't even apologize! I think every single mom feels this way OFTEN! The growth spurts usually start off grumpy and end up with some amazing sleep stretches! And nursing makes you ravenous. I didn't even lose weight really until I stopped. Having a baby is a workout enough in itself and I am sure you look amazing! It is just hard to feel like yourself. Drink a glass or three of wine and you will so much better! And think of how little caffeine you will actually need when you can drink it again!
ReplyDeleteGrowth spurts suck. I understand. But usually the day after they are done is fantastic!! Nursing made me so hungry! I had the most cravings then as compared to pregnancy. That sucks about the other agent being a tool, but you are a better person so good for you! I say buy something new but you know from Target or Old Navy. Not an investment piece! You will get to your prepreg. weight soon, but then this way it will be something to tie you over! I have started to hate costume parties.
ReplyDeleteIt could also be some early teething, I swear Hunter was teething for like 2 months before one actually popped through. I don't remember when we went on our first date night alone, it was probably a while, it's all a haze now to be honest with you. Hope your week gets better.
ReplyDeleteHang in there mamma. I've been there more times than I care to count. :) This too shall pass.
ReplyDeleteHang in there! You'll get some rest and things will look better!
ReplyDeleteSounds like your having a tough day! I wish baby would sleep for you. I cannot imagine the exhaustion new moms feel. Wish I could help. Can you borrow cloths from a friend to hold you over till you get your body back? I am sure you will!!!
ReplyDeleteOh I'm sorry friend! I hope you found an outfit for the party-- I know how frustrating that can be before an event not feeling your best. Hopefully you'll find something that still makes you feel cute. If you see these amazing body ladies just have a few cocktails and don't stand around them! hahaha
ReplyDeleteYou'll have to tell me more about this caffeine stuff...that's no fun for momma! So he is getting the caffeine through nursing? Ugh... I'm just so unaware of these things! ha!
Oh I'm sorry friend! I hope you found an outfit for the party-- I know how frustrating that can be before an event not feeling your best. Hopefully you'll find something that still makes you feel cute. If you see these amazing body ladies just have a few cocktails and don't stand around them! hahaha
ReplyDeleteYou'll have to tell me more about this caffeine stuff...that's no fun for momma! So he is getting the caffeine through nursing? Ugh... I'm just so unaware of these things! ha!